Irving Jowler is a world renowned board gaming coach, game play consultant, and pizza delivery man. He earned a "Golden Board Gamer" award for coaching from the Gaming Institute of Langoon in 2003 and in 2007 he received the prestigious "Hungry Hungry Hippopotamus" award for Gaming Achievment from the National Board Gaming and Iron Smelting Academy. Currently, "Doctor" Jowler works exclusively with classic game enthusiasts to increase their skill in games such as Yahtzee, Connect Four, Battle Ship, Stratego, and Pass The Pigs. It is his hope that one day board games will be considered true sports worthy of Olympic competition. "Doctor" Jowler has mentored and coached numerous professional board gaming athletes and currently writes an advice column for the PigMadness.com website.
Dear Doctor Jowler
What's better - great sex or great pigs?
Sincerely, Pigs Poker
Dear Poker,
Great sex is better than everything. Hell, even bad sex is better than most things. Don't get so caught up in the game that your forget about what's important. I mean really, Guns and Roses didn't make music to enlighten the world...they were looking for giggidy giggidy. Put a rubber on it.
Dear Doctor Jowler,
Where do you see the National Pass The Pigs League in ten years?
Sincerely, Curious
Dear Curious,
The league has grown exponentially since its inception in 1998. While an exact percentage cannot be placed on future growth, it can be expected that 5 to 10 new players will be introduced to the NPPL per year while retaining the same players as before (give or take a loss of 1.2 players per year). The 2009 Pig Madness event drew nearly 50 people with another 5 to 10 faithful that didn't attend, so with that information we can expect that by the year 2020 there will be approximately 125 to 150 pig passers attending the Madness, which will then of course create growth in the other events as well. At that point, you can expect an additional 20 to 30 new pig passers per year with a 3.4 player drop per year, increasing the game yet again. To sum it up? Huge growth potential here but I ran out of fingers and toes to count on so I'll stop guessing.
BUT.....the real question here is leadership. To support such a large fan base the NPPL will need to increase it's leadership roles. Already we've seen the creation of the Board of Pigs which has, as of the time of this publication, been a huge part of the organization of the pigs. Perhaps, as time goes on, we may need to see the number of Board members increase from 3 to, well, who knows. Possibly 5? Possibly 8? Time will tell. I would, incidentally, like to see delegates from other states, including Chicago, be allowed to have a voice in the Board. Not necessarily Board Members (or Boar Members as I refer to them) but rather delegates. Perhaps if there is a vote that would affect all states, and not one particular event, then maybe delegates should be allowed a vote. After all, the Board of Pigs is responsible for more than just West Coast Masters play. They also conduct Pig business on a National Level in terms of rules and regulations and this sport is about growth and community. Keep your eye on a National Tournament, that's my motto.
Dear Doctor Jowler,
I heard in the 1980s there was a movie called "Over the Top" that was going to be made about the Pigs starring Matthew Broderick, but they changed the competition to arm-wrestling, tweaked the plot, and cast Sylvester Stallone instead and the rest is cinematic history. Is there any truth to this and is there any chance a movie will be made about the Pigs or the NPPL in the coming years?
sincerely, Cinema Pig
Dear Cinema Pig,
That's interesting. I once heard that Star Wars was originally about the Pigs and Princess Lea needed Ben Kenobi to attend a tournament to win the trophy. "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you must roll a Double Leaning Jowler." and later Darth Vader said "Luke...I am your pig daddy" (gross) I also heard there was a movie called Raiders of the Lost Pigs in which Indian Sow went searching for the lost treasure of the golden pigs. I doubt there is any truth to any of these stories. That being said, I wouldn't be surprised to see a movie about pig passing being made in the future. The story of the National Pass The Pigs League is hilarious so why wouldn't someone want to spend a couple bucks on it?
Dear Doctor Jowler,
When I show up to a tournament I usually crack open a beer, maybe grab some food if it's there, hang with some of the people there for a while, and then pass the pigs. Sadly, I'm not exactly what you'd call a big winner so far. Far from it in fact. What am I doing wrong?
Sincerely, Party Player
Dear Player,
You're not doing anything wrong...but you might be failing to do some things right. You've got the right idea, the Pigs is a great time to socialize, meet new friends, have a few drinks, and just enjoy yourself. But you must remember that this isn't just another game you're playing, it is Pass The Pigs in the NPPL. That means a lot! You might want to add a few rituals into your game plan. First of all, maybe you should wear a glove, or a wrist band, before matches to keep your passing hand strong and warm. Some players have been known to wear a muff at events. Also, consider doing some light stretches. Not just on your hand and fingers, but limber up the whole body. And then, before your first game, maybe you should take a few minutes away from the crowd to really set your focus. I mean....who are you? What are you here to do? How do you plan to do it? At what point will you force yourself to pass or will you just roll until it feels right? These are the questions you need to answer and a moment of solitude before a match is one way to achieve that. Hanging out with your friends is a huge part of the event but remember to put your game face on when you need to.
