Confessions of a "2nd Place" Masters finisher!
by Autograph Mike
March 10th, 2009
Well, the Pig Masters has come and gone again. And once again, I didn’t win. I really wanted to win this year, seriously. With the new baby I had a renewed spirit in the Masters tournament. I was looking forward to it for two weeks, had designed two posters for the event and everything. But I didn’t win.
Let’s just start off, I was the one offering a bribe to Johnny Derango to give a pass to his brother. Let’s just get it out of the way now. He didn’t take the bribe. But it was only fair since I’m an original pig passer and last year, I had to be voted back in. And of course, shithead Derango was the only one who voted NO on me…So it was only fair that I cast a non vote, or vote no on his brother being invited. But like the baby that Derango is (and horrific pig passer himself) he told me if his brother didn’t get voted in, he was never going to play again…After his horrible play, I doubt he’d be missed.
So, I was the only one to show up at Gary’s early again. I can’t believe that everyone was late AGAIN…and some folks even asked for an earlier start time, and those folks still didn’t show up on time and we had to wait. The hotel was nicer than last year and the festivities were just as good. I even brought Cigars to commemorate with my friends that I’ve had a new baby girl!!!
Everyone came and a fun time was had by all (except maybe Derango who looked like he was throwing up in his mouth all day- that hungover look works for Johnny though). I started off so horribly that I worried that I wouldn’t even make the playoffs. But I did smoke a bit of the competition and officially, I knocked Derango out of the playoffs and personally took the last spot with a 15 and 15 record. Personally, I rolled 8 single-leaning Jowler’s against last place Williams. Putting him in harm’s way from the get go in every game. I did continue my personal losing streak to Perry ( I have no luck with him, he even scored a double-leaning jowler against me in a goof off game years ago!!), and watched as Gary sucked Monster Nuts yet again. I even came back to win a game where my pigs touched in the middle of the round. One of the new players, I came back from over 50 point deficits TWICE to sweep his round with me (I apologize if I don’t remember your name, but you don’t matter to me anyway, your pig-playing needs to step up for me to remember your name!!). I saw some very cool moments, but no one rolled a double leaning jowler in the tournament (further cementing just how hard that is to do!). I saw that Coscia LOVES the pigs, offering to ref games and almost never taking a break. I love it when someone shows a TRUE love for the pigs!
Then came the playoffs, where I was playing the Cardinals role by being the lowest ranked player to make it. I make the playoffs every time in every tournament as it is, but I really wanted to win, and thought that I could pull it off. Again, I knocked Derango out in our final first round game!!! And like the Cardinals, I crushed my first round opponent Bill Vergos by sweeping that punk. And just like a punk, he and Janssen packed their stuff up and left well before the finals. Then I beat Mark Rago, the man who decided to text message and call me telling me that I shouldn’t come and I should save my money for the baby. Karma is a bitch and trash talking doesn’t suit you Rago!!! It was a rousing game with us and you could’ve won. But it wasn’t in the CARDS for you.
Adam Meyer, went through his playoff round without a real fight… The only controversy was Perry trying to duck out of his game with Meyer and try to flip the playoff format after it was established- nothing like changing the rules in the middle Perry! That got squashed immediately. But it was inevitable for me to play the number one player in the group.
Adam and I sat outside, had a smoke and a beer and talked about how cool it was to be in the finals! No joke, that’s really all we talked about, and our kids. We were generally excited and goose umps rode high for both of us. As we have some history as I took Adam’s part in a hair match that he backed out of at the last minute and I ponied up for him to save some job that he didn’t even keep at Pig Madness III. Adam was also up to be the first player to win a Madness AND a Masters tournament. So we chatted and off to the finals for us.
It started out ok as I was giving Meyer a run for his money, then my pigs TOUCHED again and I think my playing never fully recovered after that oinker. Adam was really feeling it as he won two games right away. Then I won one game, that I probably shouldn’t have won and Adam took the rest from me and rode off into the NPPL history books. He punished me in a way I’ve never seen before. So the money, the trophy and the Jacket went to Adam Meyer. I really wanted this win bad. Even with the trophy that Perry broke, and the new jacket, I would have been really happy with the win. But like I said, I had a great time. Like I’ve said, Pigs is much more fun than a night of poker anytime. Even with Perry trying to wear the old Jacket to hand Adam the new one (another way of Perry trying to touch greatness), we put the kibosh on that as well. But that’s what the pigs are all about…
So my challenge is for everyone to try and get at least two new people into the madness this year! It looks like it’s going to be a great time again. And I’m looking forward to seeing people at the Piganapolis 500 as well. I look forward to seeing everyone again, and maybe I’ll win that one!
Have fun,
Mike
