April 28 2009 California CA --The outbreak of a new form of swine flu has
prompted the United States and the World Health Organization to declare a public
health emergency. President Obama has called the emergency a "precautionary
tool," since so far the outbreak has had only limited impact in the United States.
But public health officials are scrambling to determine the extent of the outbreak
and in the meantime, have set out a mission to investigate and quarantine pathetic
NPPL pig-passer Gary Williams as a possible source of the outbreak.
Otherwise known as the “landlord of last-place”, Williams hasn’t won a Pigs
tournament since the Clinton administration, most recently finishing dead last
in the last three Masters Tournaments by a landslide. His decorated attempts
to better his Pigs by acting like a swine and throwing himself in the soppy mud
of the Oklahoma swamps (which conveniently left him scarred for life) has only
added to the amusement of Williams pathetic reputation.
This outbreak could peter out, like a 1976 swine flu outbreak did. Or the virus
could spread easily from one person to the next, sparking a pandemic in which
millions of people are infected and start throwing multiple pig-outs. Richard
Besser, the acting CDC director, says it's too early to say if we'll see more severe
disease and bad Pigs here in the United States. "Viruses and pig-outs are
unpredictable and variable over time," he said yesterday. "In the meantime I would
not go near Gary Williams, unless you have to. It’s obvious his attempts to end
his diseased pig-passing have not worked to his benefit, and the result of those
attempts may now have had repercussions to the rest of the world. “
How can I tell if someone sitting next to me has swine flu?
Simple. Just ask that person if they know or have been in contact with Gary Williams or if they have lost many games of Pass the Pigs recently. If they have, I would immediately wash your hands and put on a surgical mask and avoid that person at all costs.
Should I be wearing a face mask, like they're wearing in Mexico?
Not unless you're taking care of a person who's sick with swine flu or are sick yourself, or if you plan on being in the vicinity of Gary Williams. The CDC has an online guide to using masks and respirators to prevent flu transmission.
Is there a vaccine available for this new swine flu?
No. Developing and producing a vaccine matched to this flu virus will
take several months. Anne Schuchat, director of the CDC's National
Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, said yesterday
that a swine flu vaccine could be added to the seasonal flu vaccine
now being produced for next fall, either as a replacement for one of
the three strains in that vaccine or as an addition that makes it a
four-strain vaccine. Also note that the Swine Flu has no relation to
Pig Madness at all, and anyone playing at the famous Pig Madness
tournament in Venice Beach on August 1st should avoid Gary Williams
at all costs until thorough investigations and quarantine procedures
have been taken.
Is it dangerous to play Pass the Pigs?
No. This flu virus is spread from person to person by touching surfaces
infected with the virus or by inhaling viruses from someone coughing,
someone like Gary Williams. You can't get swine flu from playing the
amazing game of Pass the Pigs, which should always be played as
much as possible.
Why has the swine flu been deadly in Mexico but not in the U.S.?
No one knows for sure, especially given that Mr. Williams claims he has not been to Mexico recently, although that is under investigation. It could be that Americans who've gotten infected had better, faster access to health care. Or it could be that the U.S. is just at an earlier stage in the outbreak, Duchin says. If that's the case, U.S. deaths could occur as the outbreak matures..
Where do I look for more news on swine flu?
The CDC's new swine flu website is a good place to start, for information both on the state of the outbreak and on how to keep your family healthy. To keep up to date on Gary Williams investigations, keep visiting this website, www.pigmadness.com, to which there will be current updates continuously.
So far, the alert level established by WHO is at Phase 4, with Phase 6 being a full-blown pandemic. At a press conference today, the head of the Center for Disease Control told reporters, "I fully expect us to see repercussions from this infection. Many will be scarred for life just as Williams is. Only time will tell how drastic this will be. Let’s face it, Gary Williams has resorted to diving in mud to save his pig-passing not too long ago, who knows what else he’s tried since then to potentially cause this travesty."
It has been recommended that Williams avoid the upcoming Piganapolis 500 tournament at the risk of infecting other pig passers. Williams has been unavailable for comment at the time of the writing of this article.
NPPL’s GARY WILLIAMS INVESTIGATED IN SWINE FLU EPIDEMIC AS POSSIBLE SOURCE!! By: Ben Dover
Gary Williams (inset - pigout)
This man, who requested not to be identified, plans on hunting down Williams in an attempt to put him and his Pigs out of their misery.
Competitive Pass the Pigs players arriving at LAX
What should I do if I or someone in my family is sick?
"Calling a real pig passer like Adam Meyer or Perry Day is never the wrong thing to do," says Mark Metursky, a professor of medicine at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine and immediate past chair of the chest infection network for the American College of Chest Physicians. You'll know you have the swine flu and not just a cold if you lose 85-90% of your Pass the Pigs games.
To minimize the risk of infecting others, avoid traveling by air and taking public transportation if you have the flu. People aren't at risk of swine flu for now, Metursky says, “unless they have traveled to Mexico or are exposed to someone who has, but the best advice I can give is, as hard as it may be, to not play the incredible game of Pass the Pigs if you think you might be infected, and to not go near Gary Williams of course.”
Here's the rundown on what we know so far, as well as the options for avoiding swine
flu and for treating it if you get it:
What symptoms would tell me I have swine flu?
Throwing multiple pig-outs while playing the amazing game of Pass the Pigs is one
of the first symptoms. Some people with swine flu have also reported runny nose,
sore throat, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
SEE WILLIAMS TRIES TO WASH
AWAY PATHETIC PIG PASSING!!
Many residents in NYC were seen wearing masks after CNN reported a possible sighting of Williams in the city
